Public community
Online Dating Commons
Online Dating Commons is a community-driven guide to respectful, safe, and rewarding dating experiences-across apps, platforms, and local groups. It exists to help people navigate the early stages of connection with clarity, empathy, and care. Our focus is on three pillars: Consent as a foundation. Every interaction...
Get to know this community
Online Dating Commons is a community-driven guide to respectful, safe, and rewarding dating experiences-across apps, platforms, and local groups. It exists to help people navigate the early stages of connection with clarity, empathy, and care. Our focus is on three pillars: Consent as a foundation. Every interaction-whether sending a first message, sharing personal details, or planning a meeting-should respect boundaries and give each person a...
About this community
It exists to help people navigate the early stages of connection with clarity, empathy, and care.
Our focus is on three pillars:
Consent as a foundation. Every interaction-whether sending a first message, sharing personal details, or planning a meeting-should respect boundaries and give each person a genuine choice.
Authenticity in presentation. Profiles and conversations work best when they reflect the real you. Honesty about intentions, availability, and expectations sets the tone for trust.
Clear, respectful communication. From the first hello to the first date, we encourage being direct without being pushy, and warm without crossing personal limits.
The Commons publishes practical tools-including conversation scripts, red-flag checklists, and safety reminders-to help people protect their time and wellbeing while keeping interactions human and kind.
These community standards are not a substitute for professional guidance or the official terms of any dating platform. Instead, they are shared norms designed to make expectations visible, reduce risk, encourage accountability, and create space for genuine connection.
7 matching conversations
Create short scripts for no thank you and reschedule messages, kind and clear, example, Thanks for the chat...
Create short scripts for no thank you and reschedule messages, kind and clear, example, Thanks for the chat, I do not feel a match, wishing you the best.
Which practical tool should the Commons publish next
Which practical tool should the Commons publish next
Propose first message norms, greet by name if shown, reference something from the profile, and include an o...
Propose first message norms, greet by name if shown, reference something from the profile, and include an opt out cue like, if this is not your vibe feel free to pass.
Photo authenticity guidelines, at least one clear face photo, one full length, and one recent candid. No he...
Photo authenticity guidelines, at least one clear face photo, one full length, and one recent candid. No heavy filters, no misleading group-only pics.
What should be on a safety checklist before a first meeting, suggestions for meet in public, tell a friend,...
What should be on a safety checklist before a first meeting, suggestions for meet in public, tell a friend, rideshare, and boundaries language.
Crowdsource a red flag checklist, pressure to move off platform immediately, refusal to meet in public, inc...
Crowdsource a red flag checklist, pressure to move off platform immediately, refusal to meet in public, inconsistent stories, boundary pushing, and financial asks.
How to set expectations early, availability, relationship goals, and pace of disclosure. What works to keep...
How to set expectations early, availability, relationship goals, and pace of disclosure. What works to keep things warm and respectful.
Published rules are approved principles that are officially in effect.
After a No or No Response
PublishedDo not escalate or guilt. A no is a no; silence is a no after a reasonable time window. Rationale and Boundaries: “After a No or No Response” clarifies expectations so members c...
Cameron RhodesInclusivity and Respectful Language
PublishedUse inclusive language and honor names/pronouns. Don’t assume gender or orientation. Rationale and Boundaries: “Inclusivity and Respectful Language” clarifies expectations so me...
Harper NealPhotos, Screenshots, and Doxxing
PublishedDo not share or post private chats/photos without explicit permission. Doxxing leads to immediate removal. Rationale and Boundaries: “Photos, Screenshots, and Doxxing” clarifies...
Rowan SnowBlocking and Reporting Tools
PublishedUse platform tools to enforce boundaries. Blocking is a neutral safety action, not a personal attack. Rationale and Boundaries: “Blocking and Reporting Tools” clarifies expectat...
Skyler HartFollow‑Up and Next Steps
PublishedIf the date went well, propose a next plan clearly. If not, close the loop politely instead of ghosting. Rationale and Boundaries: “Follow‑Up and Next Steps” clarifies expectati...
Devin DaleSubstances and Sobriety Disclosures
PublishedIf sobriety is important, state it upfront. Do not pressure anyone to drink or use substances. Rationale and Boundaries: “Substances and Sobriety Disclosures” clarifies expectat...
Parker LinConsent for Physical Contact
PublishedAsk before touching; accept ‘no’ without debate. Intoxication invalidates consent. Rationale and Boundaries: “Consent for Physical Contact” clarifies expectations so members can...
Jamie WestHarassment and Boundary Violations
PublishedZero tolerance for threats, stalking, or coercion. Document and report. Community bans may apply. Rationale and Boundaries: “Harassment and Boundary Violations” clarifies expect...
Quinn ParkScam and Fraud Awareness
PublishedDecline requests for money, codes, or off‑platform links. Report suspicious behavior and block when in doubt. Rationale and Boundaries: “Scam and Fraud Awareness” clarifies expe...
Avery CruzPrivacy and Data Sharing
PublishedAvoid sharing home addresses, work details, kids’ schools, or financial info early on. Turn off location sharing unless necessary. Rationale and Boundaries: “Privacy and Data Sh...
Casey SinghDrafted rules are newly proposed principles under active discussion and consideration.
No matching rules. Try another search or status.
Set-in-stone rules are established principles intended to remain fixed and unalterable.
No matching rules. Try another search or status.
No matching rules. Try another search or status.